FACTS and MYTHS About Kids

FACT: When you discipline, you have to use words they understand. Jack asked me yesterday out of the blue, “Mom, what does ‘not appropriate’ mean? Daddy says that to me when I get in trouble.”

MYTH: You get your body back after giving birth.

FACT: No matter how patient you think you are, when you have kids, somehow it isn’t always enough.

MYTH: Sunscreen always works.

FACT: If you bite your nails habitually, they will start up to (and even blame you for teaching them).

MYTH: Just because they pee outside at home and while we’re camping, they know not to pee in public.

FACT: If you leave the mortgage statement out on the desk and they are in “timeout,” it will get drawn all over.

MYTH: Kids will keep your nice clean pants clean.

FACT: Grocery shopping with 2 wild boys tackling each other and one baby girl attached to your front by a “front pack carrier” is not an easy task.

MYTH: Boogers are only for Kleenex.

FACT: You will be amazed when you have children at their personalities and what little bits they take from both you and your spouse.

MYTH: The “twos” are terrible. Umm, have you tried the three’s?

FACT: Something as simple as pretending to be Elmo with a big freaky smile and not blinking can get your kids to laugh hysterically right before bed.

MYTH: Telling your boys “that toy is Molly’s” means they will be gentle with it.

FACT: Kids can ask the absolute cutest of questions, for example (Mikie), “Mom, what does music look like?”

MYTH: When you have a house showing and ask your kids to behave and NOT jump on the beds while you are showing the master bedroom, they will listen.

FACT: Once you have kids, you become a laundry mat.

MYTH: Never wake a sleeping baby.

FACT: As a mom, even when you need a huge break, you still miss your kids when they are gone from you.